Saturday, February 25, 2006

Shocking activity for Jalan Tandok counter

At the end of today's movements, no analyst has yet been able to explain the sudden and rigorous activity on the Jalan Tandok counter at the IQ Average Exchange today.
The average of 100 dropped suddenly this afternoon by 50 points for a half hour period and suddenly recovered to normal, as if nothing had been the matter at all.
Eyewitness reports say that at about 2.45pm today, a crowd of people began forming along Jalan Tandok shouting inanities such as, "Mana engkau, Brendan Pereira? Kamu pengecut!" and "Tidak! Kami VUDUVUDUVUDUVUDUVUDU!!!"
At about 3.05pm however, it was revealed that a police helicopter had been swiftly despatched to check out on any emergency and may have been the source of the VUDU sound instead of the crowd of people. A good job by the police in dismissing the incident later as mere handbags and skullcaps.
However, it has still not reached a conclusive consensus as to whether the drop in IQ Average Index for Jalan Tandok was the cause or result of the crowd of people who held up unexplainable banners such as "NST Agen Singapura?"
This exclusive picture was delivered to Potshots by a Little Bard who sang a song of sixpence and was duly paid 50 sen in accordance with current FOREX rates.

In related news, the IQ Average of the nearby Jalan Riong also suffered a slight drop at roughly the same times. Eyewitness reports claim that hundreds of workers in the area gathered around their carpark to watch little objects on Jalan Tandok no bigger than the size of cincaluk in their palms. Incredibly, none faced any disciplinary action from their employers.

However, one analyst on the blog of the Pothole and Speed Bump Against UMNO-led hegemony, Jeff Ooi, offered an explanation that made at least enough sense to be consistent with the goings-on of the day (close to none), saying, "Holy madnes! Ini tak masuk akal langsung! When you've done something wrong, you still want to blame the ones that pointing out your wrong doing? So vindictive! NST, so low IQ!"

If NST, the daring tabloid, is to blame, then surely the government must take action for destabilising the safety and peace of the IQ Average Exchange. At least a two-week crash course at MENSA is to be called for in an emergency meeting of cabinet ministers today.

Meanwhile, should any whistle-blowers wish to step forward to provide further evidence against NST or any other parties, Ooi's totally well-meaning and "no shit, Sherlock" advice was to,"Just be mindful. Often times, the Messenger gets killed, the original issue thwarted. Might is Right."

Right. Once again, Potshots first to the news and blogging relentlessly for the public good of Malaysia for TWO CONSECUTIVE DAYS. This is all Maxis' fault.

edit: due to overwhelming request, we bring you this closeup of the placards held up by the flash mob who gathered at Jalan Tandok yesterday. Once again, Potshots, bringing you all the news that I want to bring to you.


Anonymous wally said...

aiya, why so few pictures of the handbags and skullcaps? i want to see what they say on the placards.

25/2/06 08:32  
Blogger graceshu said...


25/2/06 12:52  

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