Thursday, March 02, 2006

Real cause of Screenshots shutdown uncovered

***NEWSFLASH***

Potshots has uncovered unquestionable evidence as to the actual cause for the disappearance from the blogocube of the Morningstar and Firstborn of Speculation, Jeff Ooi. Forever and always, Potshots is first to grasp the news by its cold, clammy balls.
It has been revealed that on one sunny day, a certain 'matahari' commented on Screenshots that the actual fallman should not be Groupie Edit, Brendan of the Prairie but her majesty, the Queen of the Fucking Universe and Editor of Life & Times, Joanne Low.
A rubber duckie told Potshots, "It was not long after reading that comment that Joanne was the one who let the comic through, that Screenshots just refused to load."
When reached for comment, all Low would say was, "Don't mess."

Words of a truly powerful monarch, for sure. In the meantime, colleagues of Low have been treading with caution around NST, making sure that they do not step on her highness' toes.
As Produce Executioner Bo Ciak Peng related to Potshots, "You can mess with (Datuk) Kali(mullah Hassan), you can mess with Brendan, but you better not mess with Joanne."
Notwithstanding are eyewitness reports from members of Low's Life & Times staff that her desk is in fact, very messy.
"Perhaps it's all the mess she can take, without someone on Screenshots causing such extramessual distress for her," said a sizeable turkey who refused to be named nor confirm whether it was free of the H5N1.


Not as messy as Low's desk, ever.

In a later press conference, members of the media asked if any of this was mere coincidence. Daft Oi then proceeded to don physics-defying shades and say, "We have not come here by chance; I do not believe in chance. When I see 3 objectives, 3 captains, 3 ships - I do not see coincidence; I see providence. I see purpose. I believe it is our fate to be here; it is our destiny. I believe this night holds for each and every one of us, the very meaning of our lives."
Oi refused to elaborate on what the 3 objectives, captains or ships were.


Ooi, last seen unsuccessfully trying to deflower a virgin (himself), a few days ago.

In further news, Maxis representatives denied responsibility of the disappearance of Ooi, fueling further the fact that Low is definitely the key to the bringing down of Screenshots. Maxis claims that it only cuts off phone lines, not necklines and have uncategorically denied that Ooi has been beheaded.

This has been Potshots, ladies and gentlemen, glad once again, to keep your lights on with more to fear from the dark and evil nights that plague our land.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

please sign your petition on Boycott Barisan Nasional

a link from you is much appreciated.

2/3/06 19:10  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Time for someone to make a I Support Daft Oi button.

2/3/06 19:52  
Blogger Daft Oi said...

oh yes, a great idea! won't someone volunteer?

2/3/06 23:04  
Blogger TechTalks said...

I volunteer to wear the button with pride everyday if your idea materialize :)

3/3/06 00:18  
Blogger Priscilla said...

ouch.

3/3/06 10:44  
Anonymous sufferance said...

i am so glad you guys came out with this. For so long, that Daft Jeff ooi has been lording over everyone, like a blackmailer waiting to slam the sledgehammer down on anyone who angers, upsets and disagrees with him.
He just doesnt need to like your face to slam you down.
Where does he get off?
You guys are telling him where to get off.
You are OUR heroes. Keep up the great work. And thank you.

4/3/06 01:26  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ouch......

4/3/06 01:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

please link up to other sites.... and get more people to know about you. many deswpise jeff ooi. you have provided the alternative. kudos.

4/3/06 01:30  
Blogger Daft Oi said...

Daft Oi, thanks all commentors for support and suggestion. But would like to know, which other sites to link to who might not be too afraid to be linked to such a fiery pit of malevolence?
Potshots prefers to let people link here and then link back in exchange rather than drag unwilling souls into its war against fascism, communism and prisms.

4/3/06 15:05  
Blogger Priscilla said...

prisms are pretty.

6/3/06 12:44  

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