Monday, March 06, 2006

Profiteering profiteers profit off profiteering

***BREAKING EXCLUSIVITY***


A Smallish Stool Pigeon has intimated to Potshots that semi-popular online news repository, Malaysia At the Moment, may be on the verge of announcing a rise in the pricing of their subscription-based news fix delivery system.


Malaysiakini subscription page... look at all the pretty flowers, earlier today.

It is expected that sometime towards midnight tonight the subscription page of the bearer of 'news and views that matter' will be updated to reflect the new prices, with some sources quoting increases of up to RM5-10 for each subscription package. The Stool Pigeon went on to say that there is a plan to soften the impact of the hike by offering a free gift of pretty flowers with each purchase, as per the images found on the page. Joe Public remained unimpressed.

"What the hell are all these flowers on this page for?! They're totally irrelevant!" he said. "They should have done this as a Valentine's Day special package-lah!"

When contacted for comment, a Malaysiakini mole explained that the increment was necessary to pay for the petrol used by the Nissan Vanettes that deliver these pretty flowers to and from the Malaysiakini offices, which apparently actually do exist somewhere and are not, as previously suspected, spread out across the messy bedrooms of several unkempt, malodorous people with nothing better to do who would rather not stoop to multiple orgasms.


Malaysiakini's offices revealed! 'Old building' quite possibly the site of aforementioned unkempt, malodorous people. Also pictured are the 7-11 where they buy condoms, Dataran Maybank where they keep their money, the Bangsar LRT station where they commute to, the carpark where they park their cars and the Tamil school where they play croquet, a few hours back.

It is unlikely that the Malaysiakini price rise will result in the same sort of midnight stampede as the fuel price rise of a week ago, though, as when asked about it Jill Civic simply had this to say:

"What you talking?!"


A picture of a Civic (but not Jill Civic), in showrooms 2007.

Further digging by Potshots' brigade of Little Earthworms revealed even greater reveal-ations...it appears that the Free Speech That Flows So Freely It's Like Diarrhoea, Jeff Ooi is about to introduce a subscription fee himself. Since there are no flowers involved at all, the reasons for this remain shrouded in a mysterious sort of mysteriousness.

Hence we have set our Earthworms a-digging even deeper, so deep some have received second-degree burns from the heat of the earth's core while others have been irradiated by experiments conducted in the secret laboratories of evil deep beneath Maxis' HQ. Still, they will soldier on for Potshots, to deliver you the news first, immediately and in a manner that frees up more of your neurons, so you can devote a bigger portion of your brain to mass-SMSing Malaysian Idol. This issue remains TO BE CONTINUED...

9 Comments:

Blogger Veight said...

One ting you can say about this Daft Oi fellow aah, his/her language for sacarsm is unchallenge-able man!

Jus like his/her cowardly anonymity - in a class by itself.

6/3/06 15:27  
Blogger Daft Oi said...

says mr/mrs veight.

but i believe in a compassionate society that practices tough love. so, no feeding beggars, strays or trolls. there are enough bridges in our country to hunt from.

6/3/06 23:15  
Blogger eyeris said...

I'm all for cowardly anonimity as long as the blog is entertaining. better than sites that paste their faces all over and bore people to death over the same issues over and over again... hehe

7/3/06 12:17  
Blogger Veight said...

Aaaah.....I see now.

It's for entertainment only, this Daft Oi bog. So no need to take it too seriously izzit?

8/3/06 00:27  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

all earthworms need to be taken seriously.

ursulalalaling@gmail.com

8/3/06 00:32  
Blogger Veight said...

Thank you Wiki

The word comes from the late Latin word, sarcasmus, which, in turn, comes from the Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein - to bite the lips in rage,- from sarx, sark-, flesh - the root word literally means "to cut a piece of flesh (from the targeted person, Ooi or otherwise)."

Ouch, lips bleeding!

8/3/06 00:34  
Blogger TechTalks said...

anon, u have hit the nail on the head. Without the earthworms, there would be no potshots. So the next time u see one of em' don't you stomp on it. Place it up on an alter and praise it's very existence! =p

8/3/06 01:00  
Blogger Daft Oi said...

your enthusiasm is infectious techtalks, which is why i must caution against such an action. the air and sun will cause these worms to shrivel up and die. rsther, if you see one, help it along its way back to the underground.

8/3/06 10:15  
Blogger TechTalks said...

aye capt'. I have become dafttech as i have forgotten how sensitive these fine creatures are to the sun and air. Action noted. All earthworms will be re-directed underground to fertile my land.
cherios.

8/3/06 14:06  

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