Monday, March 27, 2006

Police Academy 200

Last week saw the passing of the 199th anniversary of the Malaysian dePolice Royale even though it didn't have any eyes. Or noses to smell our water, or ears to hear the stupid way that the Morning Crew plagiarised Chuck Norris facts and pretended to be original by replacing Chuck Norris with Jackie Chan. Remember Jackie Chan? Yes, he still thinks he can fly. Chuck Norris meanwhile, sends everything else flying.
In the Newer and Straighter and Unseamed Times, Uncle, Pak Cik, Tuanku, Patik, Abang, Ah Kung Abdullah Badawi said to the only cute boys and girls in blue other than the Smurfs that criticism shows public cares.

Despite their courtesy campaign, no one in the police force has as yet, achieved Smurfette levels of adorabububububleness, 199 years on.

Because Daft Oi is a great patriot - not only because he carries a humongous missile wherever he goes - he too, is a caring citizen and would not miss such a change to show his utterly selfless caring, sharing and the One ring.

Daft Oi promises to protect you from Nazgul, forever.

As such, in view of what experts on the Potshots Dream Team predict must certainly be the 200th anniversary of our Please Force next year, we have compiled a short wishlist of criticisms, things we'd like to see changed by the time 2007 rolls by.

Peugeot has another kind of 2007 rolling by, probably by next year.

1. Let the criminals shoot the people. Your job is to save lives.

2. Let the Health Ministry handle exercising and medical checkups. You can solve crimes instead.

A regular Sherlock Holmes, missing from our police force, since 1807.

3. Speaking of crimes, how about stopping real criminals like thieves, murderers and rapists instead of drunkards, gamblers or highway speeders or plain innocents.

4. None of you are Grissom or Detective Vic Mackey. So quit it with that Edisi Siasat and Gerak Khas shit.

Another case for Edisi Siasat, same channel, same time.

5. How about getting to an emergency call in the same day for a change?

Just five. I'd have given you more but then there are others I must care for, which shall be heard in coming entries. Even though you'd actually have to read instead of hear it. Potshots, your Gunung Kinabalu of proud patriotism, signing out, like a baseball umpire.


Blogger desiderata said...

Ah, refreshing change you joined the Polis force and not become a screenshots stalker all the dime!:)
no wonder I got a hi this time; other times I went higher.Butt I'm not sure if I'm telling the truth. No. in NegaraKu noawdays, itt;s difficult to recognise oneself.

30/3/06 20:40  
Blogger Daft Oi said...

There was once a private investigator. And he was hired to follow a potentially unfaithful wife.
and when this woman one day confronted him, she asked if he was a stalker.
Yes, he said. I stalk. But not thee. I stalk for the truth.

30/3/06 23:47  

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