Thursday, March 30, 2006

Who To Make Fun Of... a lesson by Jeff Ooi

It's not often that Daft Oi can be taught anything, either because he knows so much already or because he's too Daft.
And that opening sentence was not really meant to tickle the funny bone, but to illustrate how some humour may be used safely. Making fun of yourself is always perfectly fine.
And that previous sentence, was used to illustrate what I learnt from Malaysia's pre-Eminem blogger/podcaster/videocaster/spellcaster/rollercoaster/tigerpoacher Jeff Ooi. That you should always be unfunny in your first sentence and then proceed to be a complete parody of yourself or if you must, make fun of people who don't exist.

Another specimen, from the preEminem days.

Yes, clever. Pandai, sepandai kancil, and not just the Perodua kind, which is only smart like you, which, if you're a Screenshot reader, is well above your peer average, the kanak-kanak Tadika Montessori. By making fun of people who don't exist, you can elicit a few laughs, even if they're just awkward or charitable, with no chance at all of any repercussions.

An example of a form of repercussion, around the time Hitler lost Berlin.

Unlike the idiocy of a person who was genuinely funny, that is Wiley E. Coyote of Non Sequitur fame, who incidentally, has reappeared in the NST, now that people who I shall refrain from making fun of, have gone back home to be with their loving families and high petrol prices. He decided to make fun of people who actually existed, that is, people who were making a mountain out of some kuaci shells.

We are family, every week.

Ah, but Si Ooi jumps on the crocodiles backs safely across the river by insulting... Jews instead! Haha, how original! I mean, who makes Catholic jokes anymore? They're so dated. Make fun of the Jews, instead. After all, they don't exist, that nonexistent race of people who are causing a nonexistent and perpetual state of nonexistent war in the Middle East. And they sure as heck don't exist in a country full of people with loving families and high petrol prices! And let's make fun of a nonexistent ritual they have that is only practiced by these same people who fill our country and have loving families and high petrol prices. And nobody will be offended!

Does not exist, yesterday, today, forever.

And then, he bemoans, mockingly, the dearth of an endangered species in our home country, i.e., e.i.e.i.o, good men. Think about it for a moment. Not too long though, or you'd have wasted your time. He's making fun of the fact that what? You got it, that some people who don't exist, DON'T EXIST! Well, close enough, at least. If there are only a few of them, like for example, people who still worship the Goddess Kali, or in fact, someone whose name contains those two syllables, then they don't really count! Brilliant! Si Ooi is funnier than Robin Williams, Russell Peters and George Bush combined!

Hah! Jeff is funnier than you, will ever be.

In other news though, if people do exist, you must clamp down hard on the fact that they are successful. DIGI is fighting the pricing war against Maxis and meanwhile, Ooi is chipping in with some rhetoric that all Maxis subscribers will annoyingly ignore because as Screenshots readers point out, people love their service provider for whatever crap they give you, anyway!

And I guess the previous paragraph explains this entire blog. Yes, aku jeles of anybody who is successful... just like everybody else. This has been Potshots, once again, making fun of your eight-legged, quadruple-titted aunty, who of course, doesn't exist.

Yes, I am jealous of the everpopular Simpsons, but since they don't exist... HAHA! YOU'LL NEVER HAVE FIVE FINGERS LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE, for as long as Matt Groening owns you.


Anonymous aw said...

Your supposed served-cold satire overfilled the measly cup of my simpleton intellectual capacities.

My thick head remains unpierced; this post with no strong point (or more precisely, grasping at straws) begins to show the one-trick poniness of the entire blog.

It was funny at first in its superficial dig at a "prominent" blogger. But once it begin deluding itself that it is of any importance, it really does look like a dunce with a clown cap on. Unfunny Groening reference - Yawn.

Soli, I no understand your powderful pretentious England in thisa post.

31/3/06 01:12  
Blogger Daft Oi said...

Dear Simpsons Fan Who Needs To Go Shop At Ikea For A Bigger Cup,
Spot On! But you make it all sound so negative...

Although, I would like to take this time to announce that the Value-Added Department of Potshots (M) Sendirian Berhad, is working on Urdu, Simplified English (using simpler strokes rather than the more elaborate strokes of old) and That Clickety African language we saw in The Gods Must Be Crazy translations in a unified videocast program called Yennedazz?.

31/3/06 10:06  

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