Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Gmail slurred by libellous Chinapek Blogger

Before we go into today's special breaking report from an M-16 rifle to be used by an NS trainee, I must apologise for my behaviour in the past month. I have been binge drinking and getting one too many hardons from anticipation of the World Cup and allowed Potshots Premium Partner (PPP), Google, to be attacked falsely by The Blog That Knows No Shame, Screenshots.
As always, Google is kind and patient and can point you to more babes in black than Jeff Ooi ever can. They only recently informed me of Ooi's callous actions and I have set out to investigate along with my precious army of blind but eager worms.

Jeff will never outdo Google images, anyplace, anytime.

Needless to say, we didn't get far for we spent too long making stupid remarks about Jeff's "Toolbox" and his reference to "Black Chocolate". Niggah please!
But we did discover that by deviously clicking 'May 2006' on Screenshots, you can get pages that seemed to have been deleted! But now, they're back! Cool!
It seems that the Sith Lord of the Blognana recently claimed that Gmail has stop growing - notice the use of tense, as if he used the Force to immediate stop its growth rather than that he is merely reporting a false fact.
What motivated him to such degrading lies, who knows, for Ooi is a man with a plan for broadband. In his devious schemes to take over the internet, he has obviously procured a Gmail account for himself through shady means.
Now, he even has the cheek to complain that it has stopped growing! My, my, but we all know that Ooi is always looking out for No.001.

001, J377 001, license to email, in the middle of the night.

Gmail reported that he had used all but 12MB of his gargantuan 2727MB mailbox. I guess we can all see why the kiamsiap fler was making issue out of the mailbox space.
He obviously needs the extra space and was pressuring Google into giving him space that should be devoted to helping others by storing caches of, I dunno, pictures like...

But of course, does Ooi care about you or me? No, he only cares about his schemes and National Broadband Plan yadayada.
However, here at Potshots, we are not a malicious folk. We are here to help, even those who are obviously beyond it.

Another hopeless cause, recently deceased.

So, to Ooi, we offer two solutions.

1. Delete your junk mail. We know that this might seem revolutionary and alien to you, but trust us, it works. When you delete your mail, you actually do free up space in your inbox. Honest!
In fact, you could even delete old and useless mail. Instead of hoarding all the porn you plan to unleash as part of your broadband plan, how about deleting the ones which feature only naked men. Or several naked men. You know, yeah.

2. How about asking your wonderful sponsor who gives you free trips around the world to write about issues nobody cares about to give you email space to keep stuff that nobody cares about too? It would be consistent of Microsoft to do so, wouldn't it? Or are you admitting their hotmail product is more like... lukewarm mail?
One also wonders about the conflict of interest involved in Ooi reporting on Google when he is so obviously Bill Gates' bitch. Now, that's real crap.

Not real crap, available at all leading humour stores, now.

Ok, now that Google is appeased, I'm off to more of my Astro red-button hogging. More on this, uhh, after these messages from Maxis, whose representative refuses to confirm if they were shafted in their sponsorship deal for the local broadcast of the World Cup.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

who's the leg-spreading babe?

19/6/06 18:15  

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