Thousands die as History succumbs to digital manipulation.

*BREAKING LIKE AN EGG FROM A BIRD WITH H5N1 NEWS*

After the latest spate of either somebody twiddling his fingers or filing her nails or fudging up some pictures, thousands of lives have been claimed in the devastating aftermath of History taking a walk in the park and suddenly being ambushed by some shady characters.


Another shady character, just before a downpour.

The first signs were uncovered by the Shepherd Whose Rod and Staff, They Comfort Me, Jeffovah Ooisbergskistein, who expertly deduced - without a calculator, mind you, to his mother's great pride - that pictures by Reuter's photographer Basuki aka Bazuki aka Whatever Else Jeff Wants To Call Me Because He Is A Great Journalist And This Means He Checks His Names and Facts Religiously had been digitally manipulated by either Ba?uki, Reuters or the newspaper that published the manipulated image, Berita Harian Kecuali Ahad.


Rumours that Ooi used an abacus are unconfirmed, as of now.


Whoever the guilty party is, it became obvious that the price of an eye-catching picture devoid of some monkeys making people faces is far too high as the earth-shattering and sky-dropping after effects of such unrighteous irresponsibility started to unfold, doing the very opposite of what a Filipino maid might do after doing the ironing.
To illustrate that this was no game of chance that the media was playing, Ooi proceeded to tease us with a little puzzle, asking "Now, take a look of the pictures again. Spot the difference and tell us, which one is the faked Bazuki?" before proceeding to tell us exactly which one was the original.
Now, perhaps this may still be a tough one to crack for the average Screenshots reader, since it's only in school that they teach penaakulan mantik, everyone's favourite gameshow on the Math Channel on TVP. But for the rest of us, a short bit of chin-stroking after overcoming the initial burst of "What the hell is Jeff Talking About" coursing through our cranial neurons, would reveal that Ooi is talking business, and not just the sort of business that he writes of for The Scribe.


Dropping to second, on this week's favourite gameshow list.

And so it was that the ghosts of the missing monkeypeople went to visit History, who was trying his best to be original and not be repeated, which he always fails to do, but tries anyway. These spirit beings proceeded to knock the bloody stuffing out of History, although it only turned out to be rather old cranberry stuffing instead.
And so, reality and the universe themselves were shaken to their very roots - whereupon, my trusty Earthworms finally realised that something was going on.


Artist sketch of old cranberry stuffing from the temporal crime scene continuum, just minutes ago.


They hearkened unto the whaling wails of the walls of the world and discovered that history has been changed forever! Just like in that movie where Arnold Schwarzeniggahplease goes back in time to end Michael J. Fox who ends up sleeping with his grandma and ends up being his own grandfather which explains why Fry is such a retard in the end.


Watch out Fry, he's going to get you, sooner or later.

My Little Earthworms have uncovered in this new, changed history, America apparently decided not to invade Apple's iRaq or Afghanistan and instead pulled out all their troops from the Middle East. Such a pussy move resulted in those rabid Jihadderizing Angels of Death continuing to destroy buildings across America, resulting in far more lives being lost than in the wars (that now don't exist). After all, logic dictates that if someone complies to your demands, you can always expect that person to continue to be your bitch.


MIGHT IS RIGHT!

Don't believe that history has been changed? Just check out what Ooi, in his capitalised and emboldened state, said earlier today;

JEFF OOI says: ...An apprentice cook like you want to meddle with bolts and nuts in a mechanic's workshop? Or an alchemist's lab?

...and also

JEFF OOI says: ...We don't suffer fools here.

Human civilisation has had its fate rewritten and now, Screenshots has an entirely new readership, totally devoid of the fools who thought that since this altered picture didn't lie, it's only akin to an article that has some facts edited out due to irrelevance. Why did we ever listen to such deviously seductive common sense that appealed to our wicked nature of good judgment?
Even more disturbingly, bolts and nuts are found in an alchemist's lab! If alchemy instead of chemistry exists today, then the Age of Reason has not truly taken over and magic still exists! The Stone, Bronze, Industrial and Band Ages got all confused and rolled around until we are left with but one last frightful question to ask...

"Why does a question that begs also have to nag?"