Thursday, August 31, 2006

Hidup itu!! Hidup ini!!! Hidup sana!!! Hidup sini!!! Run around naked ever'body!!!

Greetings, my mini-patriot followers of my large, pillar-like patriotism. It's MERDEKA, boys and girls, and therefore all other inactivity in the Potshots offices has been put on hold to celebrate this greatly great day of the great.

YOU-ESS-AY! YOU-ESS-AY! YOU-ESS..oh, wait, just a second.

Just as the Big Boss of all that is Jeff-y, Ooi-ish, Jeff-esque and Ooi-like, Jeff Ooi, has celebrated in tandem with Perodua, the Japanese car company that for some reason believes itself to be Malaysian, we too have found a corporate partner for our little freedom hoedown. This being and its deejays - specifically JJ and Rudy, a dynamique duo who really know how to get a hoedown going or, of course, a ho going down. Hurh Hurh.

Rudy saying, 'Hey baby, do you see this Adidas right here?", pretty much each weekend.

JJ saying, 'No really, baby, if you want to help the Merdeka Man you should follow me upstairs," just as often.

Anyway, between brilliantly-conceived bouts of pretending to be funny and stealing Chuck Norris facts to donate to Jackie Chan and act as if they created them all along, these guys have come up with a way to test the patriotism and helpfulness of Malaysians, qualities we know come in surplus supply from the grand people of our nation, right? Don't answer that. Anyway in a repeat of a stunt they pulled last year, they dressed up this ethnic-looking guy in a Hitz t-shirt, with a cap and some sort of patriotic flag, to travel across the entire country on the back of other people's favours and aid.

The Merdeka Matcha! Is he buying something for himself? For a poor person? Or is he simply shoplifting his ethnic ass off? We'll only know when the cops get back to us in, a long time.

This is, of course, a brilliant plan - pick this large ethnic-looking bruvva and see if people will help him, rather than running in the opposite direction because they think that he's going to mug them with his mighty bodily hair. People will get a chance to be selflessly generous, and receive nothing, nothing at all for their efforts - except of course the possibility of being mentioned on the radio and interviewed and put in an online photo gallery and have your coolness certified by JJ and Rudy and then be generally admired for your generosity. In the meantime, the meal you bought for Merdeka Man could have been given to someone who hasn't had a meal in a while, or perhaps the time you spent treating the guy to a teh limau could have been used to fly to Lebanon and perform some much-needed amputations or to set up a hard-hitting, award-winning, globally-recognised social commentary blog which will pale in comparison to my own.

You could be like this guy and set up a blog that shamelessly apes my own, sometime soon.

I find this a totally commendable endeavour on the part of Hitz, and it's wonderful how they managed to get their logo and brand name all the way out there amongst the Malaysian flag, the patriotism and the general good-feeling. As Judy and RR said, you've got to support Merdeka Man, if not you're not patriotic! Help disseminate Hitz's brand name to the few who still have not been subjected to it like some form of Mongolian torture, and you're being patriotic! Do us some branding favours, make us some money, and you're a good citizen!

An unpatriotic Jeff, turning a blind eye to the plight of the Merdeka Matcha, on Merdeka Day.

Following their lead, we at Potshots are planning to rename ourselves Pot.shots and send out our own Big Ethnic Merdeka Matcha next year, and you have to help the bugger, because if not you're a dirty useless fler, who should balik Cina/India/Indonesia and go shack up with the natives because you think you're so fantastic, do you? Boy London indeed. Anyway this guy will be easily recognisable because he will be wearing a Potshots exclusive t-shirt. When you see him, there's no need to help him, just go out and call everyone you know and tell them to read Potshots, and also e-mail them the same. You will be heartily congratulated by me here. Don't worry about our Merdeka Man, he actually doesn't need your help anyway, just like Hitz's, so you might as well save yourself the trouble. Majulah Radio Berformat Untuk Negara!

Haaa, barula betui - USA!!! USA!!! USA, FOREVER!!!


Anonymous Jaya said...

very good stuff. I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

1/9/06 13:37  
Anonymous lipreader said...

My exact sentiments about the Merdeka Man and all the hollow declarations of patriotism.

3/9/06 10:32  
Blogger tigerjoe said...

That Chuck Norris facts has to be the bestest point ever.

4/9/06 09:30  
Blogger Daft Oi said...

it is. makes you wonder what made rudy and jj think they could bamboozle us into thinking they came up with it, when we all know that the same people who come up with gotcha calls can't come up with anything remotely funny to begin with.

4/9/06 09:42  

Post a Comment

<< Home