Sunday, November 05, 2006

The Internet Makes You Stupid (2)

Have you missed me, my dear patriotlings? No? Well, not like it makes a difference. Here's the Potshots update which is late but who's looking at dates, certainly not me, I don't do dates, I mostly just have girls lying around all over the place!

Last month, we left you with the fatal conclusion that the internet makes you stupid. This week, more evidence to silence all critics - living, dead, or in a comatose state of reading Screenshots. My Little Earthworms have found out that a majority of Malaysian internet users are either on dialup or streamyx. Case closed.
But I promised, nonetheless, that I would bring you even more damning evidence, since evidence is my favourite sort of thing to talk about, unlike other bloggers who talk about feelings, nothing more than feelings. Even if it's the feeling up of something irrelevant.

Prime blogging material, for today's soppy blogger.

Damning evidence, ladies and gentlemen, is the bedrock of all creation. One day, when you find yourself naked and surrounded by other bewildered folk and a big faceless guy is sitting with a book on his lap, you'll get what I mean. Damning evidence will be brought to you to cast you into eternal damnation. Enjoy the ride. It doesn't get any better.
But I talk too much about what I want to talk about instead of talking it. Or something.
The damning evidence, I present to you, is, that in spite of what Jeff Ooi-I-Can-See-Your-Answers and Rock-Paper-Scissors-Copy-Your-Answers Bru might say, they should be the last to try and point out something else as plagiarism.
It's like a Black Hole calling a WWE fan a sucker. Haha, see, I made up my own phrase, any other lesser blogger would've used that stupid aunty's saying about pots and kettles and stuff we don't use anymore.

A relic of, the past.

But back to my point, remember in this post back in April 21. No, that wasn't a question, that was an order. Remember it.
Now in recent times, Jeff Pencurooi, has also used screen captures (notice how I voided the use of the other term for getting an image from your computer screen as to avoid dumb accusations of plagiarism) of his Gmail account. Of course, they're not of the exact same part of the screen, but then, Brendan of the Prairie didn't use the exact same words either, did he? And you hordes of wild cannibals aren't giving him any quarter, chicken, duck, 25 US cents or otherwise.
Not only has Pencurooi plagiarised, he's plagiarised me! How dare he! But there are other examples of his nefarious and hypocritical behaviour. Take my hand and follow me on this adventure, and if you're a really fit chick, take hold of any appendage you see fit, or even if you don't see it. Or even if it's not fit. Just hold me, baby!

Oh, this is friggin original, Jeff, like, nobody's ever thought of this before.

Furthermore, many of you would've noticed his Videocast (oh, my, I bet you didn't copy that either) called Whatzzup! Never mind that that's one of the most ridiculous names to use, he obviously didn't cite Budweiser as his source. So how now, Pak Jeff? Ini semua lu guna ada bayar ka? Probably not, considering his kiasuness is only matched by Daft Oi's manliness.

From the original motion picture, Whassup. Look at me being a responsible blogger quoting his source right now.

Even in the throes of his money-pinching ways, Jeff The Tiny Toolbox Man can't seem to quite be original. I mean, it's not like you're being asked to be creative for free... but nonetheless, compare KG810 has a touch-sensitive keypad under the external screen with The device also has a touch-sensitive keypad under the external screen. The first is from Mr Toolbox-to-Make-Up-For-My-Own-Tool and the second, from, published six months before our own one-man Plagiarism Police was busy trying to figure out how to write a review for a review phone that he had abused by giving it to his daughter so that she could be cool enough for the guys at school to notice her.

Jeff, that's not the K810, get that out of your hands, now!

Need I say more? No, I don't, but I will. Because we're not done yet with plagiarism amongst such luminaries in Sunset Bloglevard, Bloglywood. Enter, the one, the only, the undisputed champion of the most cheap-ass drunkards in the world, Press Club President, Rocky bin Bru. Huzzah! Whatever that means.
Our Bro Bru Bra Bri Bre, has been busy using the plagiarism card to justify all and sundry, by that, I mean his outstanding bill at the sundry shop. In one of his latest tak-sedar-diri entries, he writes,

"Senior editors appointed by the Prime Minister to head the NSTP write blatant lies in their columns and plagiarize, and Zahid has never lifted a finger. He should know better than ask unethical journalists to deflect the blogs for the government when they could not even defend themselves against these blogs!"

Never mind that by the same token, Turtles have never tried to defend themselves against monkeys, but does Rocky, who still proudly waves a banner that he used to be an Executive editor for Malay Mail, really believe that mainstream journalists are unethical? And this all happened, what, over the past six months? You really mean to tell us that right after you left your cushy part-time job at Malay Mail, things went haywire?

You might think this is how Rocky spent his retirement days after Malay Mail. No, this is how he spent Malay Mail into retirement, back in the day.

Let us give you the benefit of the doubt, because after all, the benefit of VSS obviously wasn't enough for you. So how is it, the Great Decider of All Matters Plagiatric, who while in cahoots with Ahirocky Altantuya, proclaimed Brendan a Plagiarist, also pointed out to two occasions where a Malay Mail journo also plagiarised WHILE UNDER ROCKY'S WATCH.
OMFG! What can this possibly mean? Yes, it's a case of the Black Hole and the WWE Fan, ladies and gentlemen.

Watches, something Rocky has no concept of, given the sort of hours you'd have found him in Malay Mail, which is next to never.

So, the last piece of the puzzle then, why did Brendan resign, other than the obvious and therefore impossible to be true fact that he just wanted to? Well, Groupie Edit Brendan of the Prairie has been known to sport a rather ridiculous-looking moustache which has been affecting operations at NST. First of all, those under his charge find it hard to take him seriously, secondly, it has been causing all sorts of havoc with the computers due to the large amount of static electricity created by that frictitious flock of follicles.
But it is difficult to fire a man because of a (super)natural growth of hair, and it was a fortunate last straw for NST, when he was found to be constantly harassing his bald colleagues. Here is a man with too much hair in the wrong place making fun of the bald pates of fellow editors. Such cruelty cannot be tolerated at a company like NST, which has a history of being kind and generous - allowing the Star to run so far ahead in circulation, allowing deadweight to leave with a golden handshake via VSS...

Another moustachioed man, yesterday.

So, there you have it, the utter and final truth, from Daft Oi, where else?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahahhaha so true!
as much as i like rockybru as a person, sometimes i wonder if he realizes that he mmg tak sedar diri esp whenever he talk about nst. insaflah oi and ooi!

3/12/06 23:59  
Blogger tigerjoe said...

Hmmm... I'm very reluctant to knock Rocky.

After all, I don't want to be the sort of bastard who knocks people who share their kacang with me. Even if others would knock people who gave them even more subtantial "titbits".

5/12/06 11:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lay off the childish nicknames already.. they're funny once, but you don't want to overdo it. :)

6/12/06 20:16  
Blogger Daft Oi said...


they're not meant to be funny. they're meant to show off my patriotism. malaysia boleh, therefore i also boleh come up with a new nickname each time, mr nyonya mousse.

6/12/06 23:21  

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