Saturday, January 20, 2007

Suing is Wrong! Legal Action Is Wrong! Anarchy In The UK!

Everyone's been expecting this, so let's not do the usual dramatic opening, like as if, it's a newsflash or something. You all know that I have to say something about this, so let's not kid ourselves about any 'surprise' factor.
Ok, ok, for all you surprise junkies, here, happy?


Holy shit!

The only surprise involved really, is that Marina, princess of the Yang Di-PerTun Mahathir, has decreed that

"the point is, this sort of heavyhanded intimidation is an impediment to democracy because it impedes freedom of speech and limits our people's access to alternative views about current events. It insults all of us because it assumes that we cannot come up with the 'right' opinion if we are allowed to see all the different perspectives on a particular subject. It is a blatant form of censorship."

Wow, it is an impediment because it impedes! How did you figure that one out, Marina?
Yes, suing is censorship, instead of a legal right. So, instead, NST must not sue, we must make sure that we impede NST's rights! Marina's on a roll! Go, Marina, shake that booty, break it down, go sista...
For those of you who have the mental capacity of a five-year-old and have trouble guessing what this is all about, or you're a reader of Screenshots, let me spell it out to you. This is in regards to the New Straits TimeSue bringing a defamation case against Jeff Ooi and Rocky, or rather, maybe just his Bru - can you imagine a man without his Bru? That's like an Ostrich without its Emu.
So, according to Marina, suing people, which is totally allowed for in any democratic country is an impediment to freedom of yadayadablablablaohmygodisthisthemostboringwomanonearthorwhat but removing the Lord President and scything down dissenting voices via ISA is not? Daddy must be real proud of you now.
Thanks to Pops, if I met the Three Stooges at a street corner and had a little Slapstick convention, all that kerfuffle could lead to us being arrested as
amendments made to the Police Act states that any public meeting of more than three people without a police permit can be declared an illegal assembly, punishable by a fine of up to RM10,000 and a year in jail.


Moe, Larry and Curly got their street-cred from fighting the man, back when colour wasn't funny.

Shit! Maybe they should set up that legal fund for bloggers after all! But not for Ooi or Bru, for poor bloggers like me!
Because like The Scribe says,

"Seperti umum sedia maklum, there’s no money in blogging. In fact bloggers spend their own money and spare their own time to manage their blogs for the benefit of visitors and debaters. They do not have the money and the expertise to fight corporations like the NSTP."

But The Scribe is a blogger, so is Ooi and Bru. But they seem to have the expertise to fight corporations like NST. The Scribe Formerly Known as NST GEIC, spent years there running the company to the ground and ended up tearing a chunk of it off with him.
Bru spent years NOT working at Malay Mail but still collected a healthy salary and a big bonus prize at the end for volunteering to split from the company and help by hauling out a heavy bag of rubbish filled with nearly half a million RM1 notes. So much so that he's trying to lighten his load by passing 100 of them to Ooi. So brotherly and loving of those two. RM100 man. Gua caya sama lu la Rocky.
Ooi? Let's not even start with how he's made his fortune fighting corporations like NST. One look at his hypnotisingly horrible mug at the bottom corner of his web-'sight' (hurt, hurh, hurh) will make you want to click on all his ads like a rabid raccoon.


Must. Click. Ads. Now.

Meanwhile, the legions of adoring fans of anything that is anti-establishment have picked up sticks and are now drumming in unison to the tune of Bloggers Unite! Unite Tonite!
The consensus is basically that NST seeking legal redress against bloggers is wrong! Wrong! You cannot sue! That is against freedom of speech! Because, you are saying that what I am saying is not true. You cannot say that! That is against my freedom of speech! Suing is undemocratic! Undemocratic! Walaupun all democratic countries allow for defamation suits, NST tak boleh! NST tak democratic!
This despite the fact that even in Fejj Iio's unside-down world, he's actually put things like "The Internet does not operate in a legal vacuum!" and also, well, he's censored comments from commentors himself, asking people not to get him in trouble by exercising their freedom of speech because he's already gotten into hot soup for exercising his own freedom of speech.
You see, it only operates in the vivaciously vacuous vacuums of the minds of dumbass bloggers who've put this cute, little icon all over their blogs.


Yes, just hit the key and we can exit this game. What do you mean we're not playing a game, all our stupid lives?

Clicking on that button with a button on it will not take you to nude pics of the Pussycat Dolls but here. This is where you can read the incoherent rantings of someone who has declared war on NST. War! You know, like how Estonia might declare war on Russia, that country whose army consists of a few patrol boats, some slingshots and a fart-spray.
Not only has he declared war, he's declared Jihad! Donning his, well, whatever is his religious costume, he's said that God has Spoken! Yes, God! Allah! Tuhan! Who is this God? He doesn't specifically say, but he does link to a lot of other people on that post. Are they God? Who is God? Oh my God, the existential crisis!


If God had a name, would it be Marina...

Meanwhile, in the epicentre of the Bloggers United movement, is the rather conflicted Susan Loone, who is fighting for human right and free speech for all - but no porn.
Yes, you can organise protests, boycotts, put out ridiculous icons and stuff, but no porn. Porn Bad - against freedom of speech. You know, when the mouth is full of dick, you can't say shit.


Bloggers sans Porntiers.

So, it's been a sad, sad start to the year for democracy in Malaysia. Lim Kit Siang said it best when he said,

"It will have far-reaching consequences for the healthy, mature and democratic growth for free speech and expression, not only on the Internet but in the country as a whole."

I agree. Now that it is considered immoral to bring civil suits against others, bloggers can continue to post unhealthy, immature and undemocratic rubbish with no fear of being smacked around for it. What a step backward for Malaysia.
Tune in to the next update, where Potshots compiles thought-provoking, eye-poking, mind-blowing comments from the Blogtasia!